You Can't Always Get What You Want
by chrlgrl1
Summary: Tony and Ziva navigate the tempestuous waters of being together secretly while working at NCIS.  They're deciding how to take their relationship to the next level and figuring out how to do that being them. NEW CHAPTER IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

It was after hours in the NCIS building, and Tony and Ziva were the only two that were still there, finishing up paperwork from their last case.

"Hey you," she smiled at him, catching up with him in the break room, before heading out to her car. "When should I expect you tonight?"

He looked down at the tile before responding, "Actually, Ziva, I have plans tonight. I'm going to grab a drink with some guys from college that are here in town for the weekend."

"Oh, it's just that I thought that you were going to come with me to Abby's dinner party tonight."

"I know, but I just thought that since we've spend so much time together lately that you wouldn't mind if I went out with my buddies tonight."

"Oh, okay. I guess that's fine. I will see you tomorrow." She walked away hastily.

"Hey Ziva, Ziva, Ziva…" He chased after her, grabbing her shoulder to turn her around towards him, "Don't walk away from me like that. What's going on with you? Why are you acting like this? I didn't think it would be a big deal, seeing as we've spent every night together for the last two weeks."

She stared up at him unresponsive, and if he didn't know better he would have sworn that she looked close to tears, "Ziva, I know there's something wrong, this isn't like you. You aren't normally so…needy."

It was the wrong thing to say. He knew it the second it came out of his mouth. Ziva may be different from every other girl that he's ever been with, but sometimes even she was quite emotional, especially after the Jameson baby case. He knew that it had really affected her.

Unsurprisingly, her response to him was scathing, "sorry, Tony, I was under the impression that you enjoyed spending time with me, and perhaps, I was just getting used to having a steady sex life. Do not worry though. I will not bother you anymore."

He ignored her threat, and for once decided that he would be the bigger man, seeing through her pain and trying to get to the real issue, "Ziva, you've been acting really strangely lately. I know something is wrong. You just need to talk to me about it, instead of keeping it bottled up and then lashing out at me randomly."

She looked up at him solemnly. Previously unaware that he could see through her faux show of anger so clearly, "I cannot talk about it, Tony. You will not understand. You might even get angry."

Tony looked at her intensely, motioned for her, and said softly, "Come here."

He pulled her into a strong hug. His arms wrapped tightly around her, assuring her that she was safe and that he wouldn't allow anything to ever happen to her. He kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear, "You can talk to me about anything. I can't promise that I won't be upset, but I can promise that I'll get over it. I love you so much."

"Anything?" she asked meekly. "What if I told you that I slept with someone else?"

Tony swallowed hard, "Did you?"

"Answer me first." She demanded.

His head was spinning trying to think of the right thing to say after that insinuation, "Well, I'd be pretty fucking angry, Ziva, and I might beat the shit out of the guy in a fit of jealousy, but yeah eventually I'd probably get over it, after a year or two."

He still had her in his grasp, albeit more loosely than before, urgently he demanded, "Ziva, please tell me you aren't sleeping with someone else."

"I have not, but I think I have done something worse, even more deceptive."

"Okay, Ziva. You're making me really nervous, and now you have to tell me because you can't just say something like that and expect me to forget all about it."

"I want a baby, Tony." She stated simply.

He looked at her, still grasping at her waist, completely stunned. Out of all of the horrible scenarios that he had playing in his mind of possible atrocious deceptions that Ziva could have committed towards him that one was not even on his radar. He wasn't even entirely sure that it was classified as deception.

"What?" He mumbled, as it seemed to be the only response that he could get out of his mouth.

"I went off birth control and did not tell you. I wanted to get pregnant." She paused there, not quite done explaining herself yet, but knowing that it would take a few minutes for him to process this information.

Tony suddenly felt a wave of nausea overcome his body, as he let go of his grip on her. He gradually began to realize that the absurd amount of sex that they'd been having lately had come with an ulterior motive and was having difficulty sorting out his feelings towards her disclosure. Although it wasn't even close to being as bad as what he had been bracing himself for when she started this little conversation, it was still innately deceptive on her part to withhold that kind of information from him.

He should have realized that something was going on with her, as she had been so un-Ziva-like of late. He had been so appreciative of all of the mind-blowing sex that he hadn't even stopped to wonder why she had been playing the role of 'wife' for the last two weeks.

He'd been such an idiot. Since when did Ziva cook him dinner on a regular basis or do his laundry. That should have been a definite tip off right there. All at his apartment too, when she normally wouldn't even come over there, as she preferred to make love in her own bed.

He laughed internally at himself. She was practically nesting under his nose, and he hadn't even thought twice about it. His investigative skills must be off.

He looked her over, imagining her pregnant with his child. He felt amusement more than any other emotion. After falling for Ziva, he'd gotten over his fantasy of having the wife and the kids and the Saint Bernard. He'd never even considered that maybe she would want those things too. It didn't seem like it suited her. However he'd always known that she was a complicated woman full of endless surprises.

His amusement had begun to show on his face, and Ziva not expecting any sort of positive reaction was confused by the patronizing grin appearing on his face, as he reached out and touched her stomach.

"You should have told me, Ziva. You could have talked to me, instead of going behind my back like this." He said, very calmly. His composure was surprising, even to him, since he felt like he should be much angrier than he actually felt.

"I knew you did not want one. It is not like I was going to make you marry me or do anything. I just decided to do this on my own." She stated, his reaction wasn't what she had expected and it was throwing her off.

Sarcastically Tony replied, "Sure sure, Ziva, that's why you've been prancing around my house acting like a 1950s housewife because you didn't want me to have anything to do with this. You were buttering me up and planting ideas in my head. You should just admit it."

"I felt guilty for what I was doing, which is why I was acting like that." She said defensively, "and also I have decided that I want a baby even if you do not want one."

"I thought we were going to start being honest with each other and not keep secrets anymore. If you had told me that you had wanted a baby, or that you were thinking that you'd like to take things up to a more serious level, I would have heard you out at least."

"I was embarrassed by my feelings, and I thought it would be easier to play it off as an accident." She looked down at her feet, knowingly in the wrong. "I would not have known what to do if you had said that you did not want one, but the guilt has been weighing on me and I cannot go through with it anymore. You deserve to know the truth, even if you hate me for it."

"You didn't even give me a chance. I could have surprised you."

"I am sorry, Tony. I know that I have acted irrationally. Our last case with the Jameson baby…" She trailed off, not able to put into words what she was feeling, tears visibly showing in her eyes now. "I got really attached to that child and when he did not make it I did not know how to handle my emotions."

He reached for her again, moved by seeing his strong ninja so torn up, unable to even feign irritation anymore. He pulled her back into his embrace, and whispered in her ear, "I just don't know how we're going to raise a baby if you can't even talk to me."

She slowly took in the meaning of his words, and then she bestowed upon him the most adoring tender kiss that Tony had ever gotten from any woman.

Tony leaned back against the vending machine, slid down it onto the floor, and pulled her down with him, so that she was sitting on his lap facing towards him. He held her tightly against his chest for a few minutes, breathing in the smell of sandalwood and crime scene.

He broke their silent embrace, and stroking her stomach over her shirt with his thumbs, demanded, "Well…?"

"Well, what?" She responded, not understanding his subtleties.

"Well are you…are you pregnant?"

She gave him a small smile, rolled off of him so that she was sitting next to him with her back on the vending machine, and said seriously, "It is too soon to tell. It could take a while, you know, considering everything…"

He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and in order to assure her that he understood exactly what she meant, he joked, "Really, the whole I'm old and you've got a history of being starved and otherwise abused thing again?"

She let out a small giggle, and let her head fall against his shoulder. His demented sense of humor was one of his most endearing qualities, "Yes, all of that, and there's the fact that I'm not exactly twenty-three anymore either."

"Tick…tick…tick…guess what I am? I'm Ziva's biological clock." He teased her lovingly, as she slapped at him playfully, "Seriously though, Ziva, we need to do this right. We'll go to the doctor and make sure you're healthy, and make sure that we're doing everything correct. We'll get you on prenatal vitamins and all of that good stuff."

She snorted in response to his last statement. "I love you more now that I know that you know what prenatal vitamins are, and like I said, I was not exactly thinking about things rationally. I should have already gone to the doctor and taken care of that kind of stuff."

"Look at us talking about things. It should always be like this, you know."

"I know." She smiled into his shoulder, "I can't believe we just decided to have a baby, and are talking about it like adults and everything."

The locked eyes and kissed tantalizingly. They probably would have ripped off each other's clothes right there if they weren't aware of the cameras all over the building (except for the elevator.)

Ziva broke away from the kiss first and looked down at her watch. It was almost seven o'clock. They had been here almost two hours after everyone else had left for the day. "Hey baby, I know you have plans with your friends tonight. I do not want you to miss out on seeing them while they are in town because of me."

"Screw them. I want to spend the rest of the day with you." He used his best whiney voice to appease her.

"Thank you, Tony, but I think you are right. Two weeks straight is too long. I haven't been to my apartment in over a week, and I need to water my plants and get my mail. Plus I know that you will regret not seeing them when you have the chance."

"Fine fine, I will go to a bar with my frat brothers and have a drink." He moved his eyes dramatically around the break room in a way that she would certainly notice, "Also I've decided that I do believe in soul mates."

She grinned broadly, remembering when she tried to bait him with her infamous question. She took his hand for a moment, before they walked down to their cars together and said goodnight.


	2. Chapter 2

One good thing about leaving the office at seven was that rush hour traffic was almost over, making it much easier to navigate the city. Ziva flew home at her usual speed, loosing Tony in a matter of minutes behind her on the interstate. She knew that she was going to be late to Abby's dinner party, but she still wanted to enjoy the majority of the festivities.

She felt out of the loop from all of her office friends, since she had absconded with Tony into what seemed like a two week sex haze. She knew it was unhealthy to keep them so isolated from the rest of the world, but something about the Jameson case had made her want to closely protect everything she valued in her life. Ironically she had done just the opposite, putting their relationship in peril instead of protecting it.

She felt like an idiot for jeopardizing their relationship over this whole baby thing, when she could have just talked about it with him from the beginning. Her trust issues had in many ways resolved themselves, since her return from Somalia and resigning from Mossad, but she still managed to mess up every once in a while, and this was messing up in a big way.

She knew that she was lucky that he valued her crazy side. The side that might trick him into getting her pregnant one day, and the next day, freak out about having deceived him, blurting out everything she was feeling in the middle of the office. In fact, it was becoming increasingly clear to her that she was unintentionally taking advantage of this, and as a result she was less cautious than she should be about losing him. She knew that she would need to work on this, especially if there was going to be a baby in the picture soon.

She still could not get over how easily he had forgiven her for her transgressions. If the tables were turned she would have been furious at him, but somehow magically they had ended up at the same place at the same time without even consulting each other about it. The connection they had was uncanny, like there had been some kind of tantric soul, mind, and body meld held somewhere in the cosmos millions of years ago before they had even existed.

He was her true partner, and they shared many of the same weaknesses, which increased their understanding of the other person's shortcomings. They were both reckless. She had decided she wanted a baby, because of the loss of another child that she had grown attached to, and had gone after her goal with zeal. He had decided that he wanted to have a baby upon learning that the woman who he wanted to carry that child wanted one so badly that she was willing to deceive him to get it. It wouldn't make sense to anyone else, but it was uniquely them, and it was working for them.

Upon entering her apartment, which had that musky uninhabited smell, resulting from her recent perpetual shacking up with Tony at his place, she stripped down and jumped into the shower. She showered quickly, rubbing herself down with tea tree oil body wash and sandalwood shampoo in a mad rush. She didn't even bother shaving her legs, as she wasn't going to be seeing Tony tonight anyway.

She toweled off in front of the mirror, examining her body, swearing that she wouldn't let herself go during motherhood. Tony wouldn't like that.

x

Meanwhile, Tony took his time making his way back to his apartment, processing everything that had happened during the day, especially the last hour. Tony was accustomed to using his drives home for thinking and analyzing over cases, and occasionally his personal life would find its way into his thoughts as well, but tonight his thoughts were entirely occupied by his personal life.

His Ziva was such a strange creature. A month had gone by without them having any sort of serious conversation about their relationship, and today everything boiled over suddenly in the break room of all places.

Mostly he liked it this way because their relationship seemed so organic and unforced. When they really needed to talk about something it would unfold just as it had today, after one of them had kept whatever was bothering them bottled up for a couple of weeks, until they realized that it couldn't be dealt with on their own. However today was different and in the future he decided that he would try to be more mindful of changes in her mood, and try to talk about things before they get this out of hand again. He didn't want them to end up like his parents were before his mother had died, and consequently the same way the relationship was between his father and his many stepmothers.

He understood that she would never readily offer a lot of information to him, unless she felt that it was absolutely necessary for him to know. She was a self-soother, and thirty years of programming by her father was not going to be effortlessly erased by a couple of years with him. Not to mention this whole idea of openly talking about everything hadn't come naturally for him either. They were both private people and melding their private lives together was never supposed to be easy, but it was worth it.

The first thing he did when he got to his apartment was head to his neatly organized walk-in closet. He liked his life to be tidy and organized. A trait that he would most likely need to forgo before having a child of his own with his ex-assassin co-worker girlfriend out of wedlock. Since it had occurred to him on his drive home that they would have to be make their affair public if she became pregnant. Although he had told his dad and most of his friends about them, mostly so they would get off his back about his lack of womanizing of late, only Abby knew for sure that they were together out of their co-workers. The others had only speculated about what was going on between them.

Tony could tell that Gibbs knew that something was going on between them, and although he would never approve of a relationship between co-workers, he would be a hypocrite if he banned it outright. Most likely Gibbs just thought that they were just screwing, which they had been for a long time before it became more serious, before Somalia. However he would have been an idiot if he didn't realize that Tony had genuine feelings for Ziva. Ziva on the other hand was more unreadable.

McGee probably had the best idea of what was really going on between them. He endured many hours of them interacting with each other. It was enough to make him absolutely sick sometimes. The teasing banter, incessant flirting, and the knowing looks that passed between them on a daily basis had not gone unnoticed by the Probie, no matter how hard he tried to ignore them. Not to mention that Tony had stopped talking about girls almost altogether and Ziva didn't seem quite as eager to flaunt men in front of his face anymore. It still happened on occasion, just rarely. The other big indication was that he and Abby had used to joke about them together, and now when he tried to bring it up she had just said that it was none of their business.

Tony went to the back of the closet and pulled down a clear gray unlabeled plastic container. Months ago his father who he had recently begun talking to on a regular basis had sent him a box of things from his childhood that he had thought that Tony might want one day. He had gone through it hastily, as some of the memories were bittersweet. His childhood had been quite blessed until his mother had died when he was eight, but after that it had been a sequence of distant boarding schools and summer camps until he was eventually cut off by his father before college. He did have one picture of him and his mother framed that he had liked. It was a completely cheesy one of them wearing coordinated outfits at Christmas time.

Eventually he would give all of it to Ziva, because she would truly appreciate it, but tonight he was searching for something in particular to gift to her to commemorate their recent decision. He rummaged through the box, which contained many smaller boxes of loose photos, framed family photos, a baby book, old baseball cards, a baby blanket, and a couple of stuffed toys that he had been fond of as a child. It also had some estate jewelry that had been his mothers, which he should probably take to his safety deposit box instead of leaving lying around.

He grinned as he opened the box to a four-carrot emerald cut Harry Winston engagement ring that had been worn by his mother. Ziva definitely did not need to know about that one. Of course, knowing her she probably would have found something wrong with the cut or the clarity would not have been good enough. Or it would have been too big, and she would have considered it tacky. Or she wouldn't want to wear it because it had belonged to his deceased mother and wouldn't want to wear something that special. She was so difficult, but so easy at the same time.

He finally found what he was looking at amongst the treasures. A small blue box, which was heavier than it appeared…


	3. Chapter 3

Tony was the remaining single man in his group of friends from college. Most of them had nice Stepford Wives tucked away in quaint suburbs, across the eastern seaboard, and expensive girlfriends in the cities where they commuted to each day. Their children attended esteemed boarding schools and would return to them on breaks having been properly trained without very much influence from home. It didn't matter what they were really involved in as long as they kept up their grades and appearances.

In some ways he was envious of them because of their extremely lavish lifestyles that once upon a time he had been accustomed to while living with his father in Long Island. The Gucci shoes and Armani suits left very little to be desired. However in other ways he was grateful that he had become a cop, instead of a business executive like the rest of his fraternity brothers. He got to carry a gun, and more importantly he got satisfaction from doing meaningful work at NCIS. Although each day he seemed to be getting more tired with the incredulous hours and crazy situations that he was throw into. He was getting old.

His child certainly wouldn't be getting shipped off to boarding school like he was as a boy. His baby was going to have two loving parents, constantly involved in its life. He could at least guarantee that, so long as they were both alive. He shuddered at that last thought, since they did both have a dangerous job, in which their lives were endangered almost weekly. Additionally the potential mother of his child was the impulsive thrill-seeking type. He made a mental note to make a living-will as soon as possible, indicating that Abby would become the legal guardian of his theoretical baby if anything were to happen.

Most of his college buddies were envious of him, or of what they perceived as his swinging bachelor lifestyle. He wasn't weighed down by the wife, the kids, or the several mortgages like them. It would be liberating not having so many people depending on them all of the time. The perceived freedom that he had was astounding to these men approaching their fifteenth wedding anniversaries. Although he tried to explain to them that he was really married to his job, which was just as complicated and demanding.

In some ways it made them uncomfortable because he was not on the same level as them. He didn't understand the delicate pressures of making sure his kids got into the right prep schools and the daily rituals of multi-million dollar business transactions. However this divide between them was easily overcome with a couple of beers at a nice bar in downtown D.C., which is where the five middle-aged men sat at a booth in the back of the bar reliving their college glory days, and talking about sports and other manly pursuits.

"I can't believe your oldest daughter is starting college next year." A man with a chiseled jaw teased another man with stern ice-blue eyes.

"Does this mean I need to stay away from Georgetown co-eds now?" Tony joked.

Between friendly jabs at each other, Tony managed to find time to send Ziva a text message who he couldn't stop thinking about. _Come over tonight when you leave Abs party._

"Hey, Tony, you better not be texting your girlfriend during our guy's night out." One of his friends pestered him, as he stared at his phone waiting for her response that wouldn't come for another hour.

"Sorry guys, I'm kind of preoccupied," he began, and then he continued with wild abandon and for no particular reason, "I actually have some pretty exciting news to share with you all. I'm having a baby. I just found out today."

The lie or uncertain truth tasted so good coming out of his mouth, and congratulations were given all around for Tony, their last single friend who was finally going to join them down the rabbit hole.

Tony wasn't able to focus on his friends very well. His thoughts were completely occupied by Ziva. He wanted to be with her, and he left as soon as he thought his friends were drunk enough to not miss him.

He hadn't brought his car with him, as he figured that he would not be able to drive tonight. He hailed a cab fairly quickly on the street outside of the bar and gave them Abby's address. He was not able to stay away. Plus he could only imagine what kind of shenanigans that his best friends were getting into right now, and he most definitely didn't want to miss out on what was sure to be the office gossip for the next week.

Ziva hadn't responded to his text message yet. He wanted to surprise her so he tried to call Abby to make sure that she stayed there, but the call went to voice mail. He then tried Ziva and also nothing. He didn't like that at all. Rule 3: Never be unreachable. He decided to try Abby's party first, and if she wasn't there then he would just go back to his place, since he didn't want to bother her if she really did want her alone time tonight.

x

Abby's dinner party was a general success, as were most of Abby's parties. The woman had uncanny hostess prowess. The ten bottles of wine that had been split between her eight dinner guests (one of whom was not drinking) probably helped get things moving along.

Gibbs had brought a date to the party, causing a huge uproar of gossip from the other members of the team. She was a vivacious redhead with very little to say, but sometimes Gibbs liked them that way. Jimmy and McGee were winning the unofficial drinking contest, and were playing show tunes on Abby's baby grand piano. Jimmy's girlfriend, Breena, was engaged in deep conversation with Ducky about the burial practices of the indigenous populations in Central America. Those two could go on for hours. Abby and Ziva were sitting in at the bar, watching everything unfold in front of them. It was quite a funny scene.

"Abby," Ziva began, smiling at her friend who had finished an entire bottle of wine by herself and was starting on another, "I want to talk to you about something important."

"Ziva, my best friend, you can talk to me about anything!" Abby practically screamed at her, while leaning out of the bar stool and clinging to her shoulders.

"Maybe we could go into the bedroom for a second. It's sort of private." Ziva lowered her voice, indicating that Abby should do the same.

"Sure, Ziva, since it's important," Abby said solemnly, trying and failing to sober up for their talk.

"Attention, everyone!" Abby yelled into her living room to her guests, most of which didn't even notice she was speaking because of all of the ruckus that was taking place. "Ziva and I have to have girl talk in my bedroom, we will be back shortly!"

Everyone was too drunk and otherwise occupied to mind their disappearance. Ziva was eager to talk to Abby about the new development in her relationship, since she was the only person on their team that knew about her and Tony's secret love affair.

They slipped into Abby's bedroom, or coffin room. It was more of an office than anything else, books and different computers covered the walls. There was a voodoo doll and African mask collection in one corner and many framed band posters on the walls.

Ziva sat down in a black desk chair and spun around to face Abby who had sprawled herself out on the floor in front of where Ziva sat.

"I feel kind of bad not inviting Breena in for girl talk. She seemed kind of hurt," Abby gushed, laying down and talking to the ceiling, the effects of an entire bottle of wine taking hold. "So, Ziva, where's your man tonight?"

"Well I have given him the night off to hang out with some friends from college that came into town today," Ziva answered her, not able to stop smiling.

"Aww…Ziva. You're such a good girlfriend to let him go out by himself on a Friday night. You all are so good together. I just want to scream your love from the rooftops." Abby stretched her arms out on either side of her body.

"Well please do not scream it from the rooftops yet, but I do have some exciting news for you." Ziva eagerly continued, because for once in her life she was excited to be able to talk about a normal aspect of a human relationship that she was personally involved in. "Tony and I have decided that we are going to have a baby."

Abby sprung up from her position and let her mouth drop for dramatic effect, "Oh my God, Ziva, that's completely huge. You just completely blew my mind. I don't think that I've ever heard such amazing news in my entire life. You and Tony having a baby must be the most exciting thing that's ever happened at NCIS, ever."

"I know!" Ziva exclaimed, practically beaming at her, "I mean, I am not sure if I am even pregnant yet but we are trying, and I just had to share with someone! I was not able to keep it contained any more. I want to shout it from the rooftops too!"

Abby laughed and smiled knowingly at her friend, "I wondered why you weren't drinking and now I know. I was suspicious of you."

Ziva's face dropped a little, "You really noticed?"

"Yes, a host always notices these kinds of things. Plus it's weird for you to not be drinking. You're like normally the life of the party, Ziva."

"I hope no one else noticed. I do not want to have to explain myself quite yet."

"In a room full of investigators, of course not," Abby teased, "Maybe not?"

"Well if anyone asks, tell them that you asked me to be the designated driver for the night."

"Will do, Ziva, but you do realize that people are going to notice when you're pregnant, and they might want to know who the father is. Especially when the kid is born and it has Tony's green eyes and bone structure…"

Ziva laughed again, back in her pleasant mood, "Yeah, I figure that we will have to tell everyone eventually but I want to wait a while at least, but I just had to tell you."

Abby jumped up and grabbed Ziva by the waist and tightly squeezed her, "Thank you. I'm really happy for you all and I love you so much."

The girls were met with McGee singing Piano Man as they made their way back into the party from the bedroom. Both Abby and Ziva were much gigglier after they had emerged than before they had entered, and Abby hugged Ziva before she made her way to sit by McGee at the piano, as Palmer had returned to his date.

Ziva walked over to her purse to check her cell phone for the time and noticed the text from Tony. She responded to him with, _I'm tired of your place, my place feels neglected. Meet you there in an hour?_ She really did prefer her own bed.

He responded quickly to her with a short, _NO_. She was taken aback and had started keying another text message, when she heard a knock on Abby's front door. She smiled, figuring who it probably was and went down the hall to answer it for Abby.


	4. Chapter 4

Ziva answered the front door slowly, after checking to make sure it was him in through the peep hole, and he put on his classic DiNozzo grin when he saw that she was the one who had answered the door, "Hey you, I couldn't stay away."

She smirked up at him, happy to see him, happy that he couldn't stay away from her. "I would say that you couldn't live without me, I guess."

Their eyes meet as an unspoken something passed between them. He wished he could kiss her here, and he was tempted to do it anyhow, regardless of the consequences. Instead, he contented himself by reaching up and pushing her hair out of her face. She had let it dry naturally because she was in such a hurry to make it to the party. It was wild, like she used to wear it when she first came to NCIS. Tony missed it sometimes, and he found it very alluring.

"TONYYY!" a familiar voice bellowed from down the hall in his direction.

They both turned around as Abby strode up to Tony, practically pushing Ziva out of the way, before squeezing her arms around his neck so tightly that he could barely breathe. Abby had taken off her shoes and was wearing brightly colored mismatched socks with black leggings. She had a glass of white wine in one hand that she was slinging around dangerously, and had managed to acquire a pair a black cat ears on her head since she and Ziva had been alone.

Still squeezing his neck tightly, Abby lowered her voice, and whispered to Tony, "Hello, daddy, I'm so glad that you came."

Tony looked at Ziva from his captivity and widened his eyes until they looked like they were about to burst from his head. Ziva returned his stare with an innocent doe-eyed look and a shrug.

"Hey, Abby, I'm happy to be here." He responded after a couple of moments of shock. She still hadn't released him, "Abby, you're going to break my neck."

"Oh sorry, Tony," she said, releasing him, already striding back down the hallway to join the others, "Come on you guys. Join the party."

Tony rolled his eyes playfully at Ziva, "I can't believe you've already told her. You used to be so good at keeping secrets."

Ziva linked her arm with Tony's and pulled him down the hallway, before they got caught up in their little game of making faces at each other and witty banter all night. Ziva was intent on making them the kind of couple that actually existed outside of one another, which was hard considering that they spend so much time together. Although much of that time was spend working diligently on cases, and even when they were alone together their relationship often took a backseat to whatever they were working on at the moment.

x

McGee was completely plastered. He had probably never been this intoxicated in front of Gibbs or Ducky before and was kind of embarrassed. He certainly had been this drunk in front of Abby and Tony before, but that was okay because normally he was the one that was taking care of Tony when they drank. His head was spinning.

He felt rather alone tonight, as if everyone had been paired off except for him. Ducky and Abby weren't a part of a pair either, but somehow seeing the other three pairs made him painfully aware of how alone he was.

He looked at Abby who was spinning around in circles for some reason. God she was beautiful, and he wished that she loved him like he loved her, but he was certain that she didn't.

He scanned the room and stopped to watch Tony and Ziva. They always seemed to be together even in a crowd. It was like they were magnetically drawn to each other or something. He hoped for the sake of their workplace that they wouldn't do anything stupid, like start dating. They were practically too much to handle together already.

Jimmy and Breena seemed really good together. He envied their relationship, as they had so much in common and seemed to be completely infatuated with each other. He needed to find a girl like that.

McGee snapped back to reality, as he saw Tony approaching him, "Hey McMusical, What are you doing over here?"

"Well Tony I was showing off my musical ability to the party." McGee boasted. He was actually proud of his piano skills.

"I figured as much. Scoot over, I want to join you." Tony sat down on the bench next to his other partner. "You play and I'll sing."

"You've got to be kidding me. You're going to sing?" McGee looked at his partner dumbfounded. Singing was completely out of character for Tony, although when DiNozzo Sr. was in town he had joked to him and Ziva about how Tony used to be in a boy's choir. Apparently there was actually had a lovely singing voice inside that cocky jock exterior.

Tony grinned widely at his partner and put his arm around his shoulder squeezing him gently. He was in such a good mood tonight that his mind was practically a soundtrack of Frank Sinatra songs. He might as well vocalize it.

"Yep, I'm going to sing if you'll play something that I know."

_Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore. You are all I long for all I worship and adore…_

x

Gibbs was growing tired of the festivities. It had been a mistake to bring a date here for many reasons. Mainly he had been tied down to her all night and wasn't really able to enjoy himself like he would have been able to do if he'd come alone, but also his team had been acting completely weird about it. Apparently they had elevated him to a level where he didn't do human things like bring dates to parties and didn't know what to do when it had actually happened. Most of that was his fault, but lately he had been trying to be more relatable. Rule 51: Sometimes you're wrong.

It was nice seeing his team at ease. He knew that they were all overworked and needed a relaxing fun-filled weekend. He knew that the Jameson case had taken a lot out of them, so he had told Vance to direct any cases that they had this weekend to another team in order to give them a break. He had noticed that Ziva had taken the Jameson case especially hard. He knew that she wouldn't talk to him about her feelings, but he hoped that she would at least open up to Tony.

Maybe that was the reason why they had been coming into work looking exhausted for the past couple of weeks. However he doubted that was what was going on and had other suspicions as to where all of their energy had been going. Rule 12: Never Date a co-worker. He had no interest in confirming his suspicions. He had decided after careful consideration that he was going to ignore it until it had to be dealt with, if there was in fact something that needed to be dealt with.

Rule 10: Never get personally involved in a case. It was practically impossible to not get personally involved in the Jameson case. A nineteen-year-old navy lieutenant and his eighteen-year-old wife had been shot and murdered in a public park because they had witnessed two drug dealers kill one of their customers. The drug dealers had graciously spared the life a two-month-old female infant that the couple had been pushing in a stroller through the park. However they hid the stroller and the bodies in the back of a stolen car, which was discovered a day later. The baby was starved and had been sitting in a hot car for an entire day, and although they had rushed the infant to a hospital, the baby passed a couple days later. Ziva had gone to the hospital several times to check on her.

It was one of the most gruesome cases that he had ever encountered working at NCIS. Even some of the most horrific people, serial killers and terrorists, who he had dealt with, would not have left an infant alone to die in a car. This time putting the bastards in jail didn't seemed good enough.

x

Ziva was getting antsy. The party had been amazing and it was nice to see everyone outside of the office, but she was ready to take Tony home. She was incredibly eager to get him alone again.

Gibbs and his date had politely excused themselves a couple of minutes ago, and Ducky was on his way out the door. McGee, Abby, and Palmer were far too drunk to function properly, however Brenna still seemed rather composed. McGee had fallen asleep in a chair in the corner of the room, and although Tony had been concerned about him, Abby had assured everyone that this was typical McGee behavior.

Tony was acting like a crazy man tonight, flamboyantly all over the place. She would have sworn he was intoxicated too if she didn't know for a fact that he hadn't touched anything since he arrived at Abby's several hours ago. She had never seen him this enthusiastic before and was pleased that this was his reaction to their development.

He had started off by singing with McGee at the piano, imitating Frank Sinatra, which Ziva never thought she would actually see, even after his father had alluded to his ability as a singer. After a couple of songs, he had gotten bored with performing and had decided that he wanted to go through Abby's massive record collection. In a matter of minutes he had scooped Abby into his arms and was making her dance with him to a compilation of swing songs that he had found in her collection. Breena and Palmer had joined in almost immediately, as apparently Breena was a member of the Swing Club in college.

After one song, Tony had lost interest in dancing with Abby and passed her off to McGee, motioning for Ziva to join him. She had protested, violently shaking her head in reply, "I don't know how to swing dance."

In response to Ziva's objections to swing dancing, Tony quickly jumped onto Abby's laptop, spending ten minutes making a playlist and downloading it to her IPod.

"You can't refuse me now," he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him in the middle of the room, as Louis Armstrong's What a Wonderful World began to play off of the playlist that he had made solely as a pretense to get her to slow dance with him. It was the first time they had ever slow danced together and quite possibly the last time, since Ziva didn't really enjoy slow dancing. She preferred to move to something a bit faster, sultrier, but he was so insistent she couldn't resist him. It was similar to the first time that they had made love in that regard.

McGee and Abby had slow danced beside them, but Ziva could feel Gibbs eyes burning into the back of her head. They were being too candid for a work party, and she had finally urged Tony to join her on the couches to ease her discomfort, which was where they were now.

Ziva leaned her head on Tony's shoulder yawning loudly in order to get his attention that she was ready to leave, without drawing notice to the fact that they were leaving together. She wasn't as concerned with appearances now that the "adults" had left the party.

"Are you ready to leave, wifey?" He whispered softly into her ear. She nodded furiously into his shoulder.

Tony taking the hint spoke up to their host, "Well Abs, it's been great but I think I'm going to take off. Do you think you can take care of McGee tonight?"

"Yeah, of course!" She said, as she leaped out of her seat to give Tony a goodbye hug. I'll let him sleep on the couch, and make sure he's still breathing and stuff."

"I think we're going to take off too, Abby," Breena smiled at her, while motioning to her and her boyfriend. "Thank you so much for having us over it has been amazing."

The group shuffled towards the front door, saying their goodbyes and thanks to Abby. Tony and Ziva intentionally fell behind so that they could leave together without Palmer noticing.


	5. Chapter 5

x

Ziva pulled away at lightning speed from the parallel spot that she had found on the street a mere block away from Abby's apartment. Her swift actions reveling how eager she was to finally get Tony alone. Tony attempted to settle back into his seat in an effort to soothe his nerves. He always hated being cramped into her obnoxiously undersized red mini-cooper, and the way that she was driving made his probable untimely death seem more imminent than ever. Every single time he got in the car with her, he swore it would be the last time. Yet here he was again. It was basically the story of their relationship.

"Can we just agree right now that I'm teaching our children how to drive?" he half-joked, right as she cut dangerously between two semi-trucks, making Tony nervously dig his fingers into his seat.

Ziva feigned aggravation with his statement about her driving and shot Tony one of her infamous dirty looks from across the car, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my driving. I am just an aggressive driver, and in many situations that I have found myself in it is an appropriate skill to possess."

"Baby, sweetheart, darling, I just want to get us both home alive, and I seriously doubt that we're going to encounter any roadside bombs in D.C. tonight." He somehow managed to maintain his sarcastic air through clenched teeth, and white knuckles, which were present from grasping the seat so long. He understood at that moment that she really was going to be the death of him, one way or another.

She smirked back at him and ignored his ongoing commentary on her driving, while pressing her foot down on the break.

"So, Tony, how many children are we having now anyway? I only remember discussing the one." Ziva mused not missing the opportunity to over-analyze Tony's previous statement.

"Well, Ziva, I just assumed that we'd keep trying until we got a boy, a Anthony DiNozzo III" he teased her playfully, trying to get a rise out of her. It was fair game, since she certainly used her driving to get one out of him.

"I want three," she announced confidently, stealing a brief glance at him before resuming watching the road. It was a rare moment of sincerity from her, a woman who kept most of herself hidden at all times.

"Preferably, two boys and one girl," she continued, looking eagerly at Tony once again in order to gage his reaction.

Tony leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek in response. He began to stroke her thigh with his left hand, but he remained silent as he pondered her revelation. Surely, he thought to himself that he was far too old at this point for that to be possible for him. Perhaps she hadn't intended on them all being his children, he thought to himself.

His head started spinning as a thousand questions, which he had somehow managed to repress until now, began to race through his mind: Did he even want a family? Would he be the father that he never had or would he repeat the mistakes that his dad had made with him? Was Ziva treating him like a glorified sperm donor because she was having an emotional breakdown? Did Ziva even want to get married one day or was she just looking for a baby daddy? Did he want to get married ever and if he did was Ziva the person that he wanted to marry? Most importantly, what was Gibbs going to do to them once everything surfaced? What would happen at work?

For the first time he became aware of how bizarre it was that Ziva had decided that she wanted children all of the sudden. It seemed to be an overnight development, and her reasons were not all that solid. Not to mention that she had just sprung this on him out of the blue, and he hadn't exactly had time to process the information. They had never talked about it before, and in fact, she had never spoke of wanting children or a family previously. Although, it would not be difficult to understand her hesitation, considering her relationship with her father and the loss of both of her siblings.

He had reacted on his gut instinct when she had told him about her diabolical plan earlier. Yes, he wanted to reproduce and create a legacy. Yes, he loved Ziva and thought she would be a very loving, albeit protective, mother. Why not now? Why not her? He wasn't exactly getting any younger.

For once in Tony DiNozzo's overly articulated existence he was at a loss for words, although he had plenty of thoughts. He had assumed correctly that she was testing him by gauging his reaction to her thoughts about the future, and he chose to remain quiet in order to protect himself. Tony knew that even his calculating stoic ninja, Ziva, could be a typical woman sometimes and go off to her over-analytical headspace. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset her tonight. Especially since his mind had begun to ponder the idea of hot animalistic baby-making sex, which appealed to him on a subconscious primitive level.

He decided for certain that although he was obviously interested in having a future with Ziva, at the moment he was not ready to plan it entirely. He was still Tony DiNozzo after all, and they both had commitment issues that they would have to work through together. For the time being he wanted to handle their relationship on a day-to-day basis. However, he was happy that she was finally opening up to him, even if he was suspicious that it was all just a game for her. He wanted to know the inmost details of her fantasy life, a life that they could be spending together if they could find a way to make it work without killing one another.

x

Ziva was off-put by Tony's lack of response and stared dejectedly forward, as she took the interstate exit back to her apartment. She had started driving a little more carefully now than before in order to appease him. He was acting strangely, and she was overcome with worry. She was fearful that he was already having second thoughts about their arrangement, and she would hardly blame him at this point. Even worse she was fearful that he was starting to have second thoughts about their relationship. She wished that he would talk to her about what he was thinking, but understood the irony of wanting something that she wasn't able to give herself. They were both professional federal agents, masters of bottling up feelings. Even though she didn't really know exactly what she wanted to happen between them either, she was hopeful about their future together. She believed that if she could make it work with anyone then it would be him.

x

Tony allowed the silence to continue for a few moments longer, before he realized that he was being needlessly insensitive towards her feelings. He had just asked her to be more candid with him earlier in the day, and now he had shut her down by not responding to a simple statement about wanting three children, when he had just been joking about the same topic. He realized that it was no wonder that she was afraid to be entirely honest with him all of the time if he had behaved like this previously when she had tried to open up to him.

"Sorry, Zi, I just got caught up in my headspace there for a second." He finally spoke. His hand was still absentmindedly running up against her smooth thigh, and he moved it up to stroke her face for a moment.

He continued, wanting to explain to her what had just happened, "Let's agree to see how the first one goes before we start planning on having more, okay? I mean, it's fine to talk about, as long as you mean hypothetically, one day, in the future…"

He was cut off by their arrival to Ziva's apartment, which was lucky because he wasn't articulating himself very well at all. Ziva turned the car off, faced him, and put her hand on top of his, which was still resting on her cheek.

"You do not need to worry so much," she responded softly, maintaining eye contact with him as she spoke.

Tony reassured by her touch and her presence felt a weight lift off his shoulders, "I know and I'm sorry, Ziva. I didn't mean to come off like such an ass."

Ziva put her hand on his shoulder a squeezed it and then leaned in to him for a kiss, but Tony stopped her. He still had things that he needed to say before he could move on. He truly wanted to work on this whole communication thing.

"I really do want to know those kinds of things about you, and for you to be comfortable enough to tell me about them. Before today I didn't even know that you wanted children. In fact, I thought you didn't want children, and now we're going to try to have one. You're a complete enigma to me, and I'm really afraid that one day you'll tell me something that I won't be able to handle." He explained to her, trying to make sense of what he was feeling.

Ziva looked away from Tony and down into her lap, "I feel like such an idiot, Tony, and I hate myself for creating all of these trust issues after we worked so hard to get over them after Michael…after all of that."

Tony recognized the signs of a distressed and regretful ninja, an elusive creature, which was altogether majestic, yet painfully tragic. He had to comfort her. She was his to take care of. He was the only one that could do it and took great pride in that responsibility. He was the only one to whom she had divulged all of the horrors of Somalia, the atrocities committed while working for Mossad, and the stormy childhood that made her what she is.

"I trust you, Ziva, with my life, everyday. I know that we're two people who are both very guarded about our personal lives, and we're trying to come together. It's just going to be difficult, and I know we're both going to freak out about it sometimes, like I just did." Ziva raised her head to look back at him, a faint smile on her lips.

Tony continued, his brain finally communicating with his mouth, "I just didn't want you to believe that I'm not even thinking about a future together, or that I'm still the same noncommittal man-child that I used to be. I'm just not ready to decide on every detail about my future right this moment."

Ziva smiled broadly at Tony this time, "I know that is not who you are anymore, Tony, and I understand exactly what you are saying."

She continued on hastily, laughter ringing in her voice, her teasing chide slightly evident, "Trust me, Tony, I get scared when I think about this too. I certainly never saw myself being this settled, especially with you. I mean, I've always cared about you even when we were just screwing around, but I always figured that one of us would move on without the other at some point."

Tony laughed again. This is what he wanted, he was sure of it. He leaned out of his seat and kissed her deeply and passionately. She pushed back equally hard, slamming him against the passenger window, practically devouring him.

Suddenly, Tony stopped, "You know I lost my virginity in the passenger seat of a car, right?"

"Shut up. Let's continue this upstairs."

"Ziva," he said more solemnly, desperately hanging on to her hips with his fingers. "I want you to tell me everything."

"What do you mean by everything? I wouldn't even know where to begin." She said sliding back to her side of the car and opening the door.

He got out of the car, joining her in the crisp night air, "Well, to start with what have you named your three hypothetical children?"

She reached out for his hand and pulled him close to her, looking deep into his green eyes with her most mesmerizing stare, "I'll tell you later. For tonight let's do, not talk."


	6. Chapter 6

The case was finished. The killer was behind bars, and the team was going to the bar to have drinks.

Ziva couldn't help the tears from slowly pouring from her face as she drove to meet her friends and her Tony. She was crying a lot lately after cases but today was different. She had gotten her period last night, signifying another month that had passed with no luck. It had been three months since they had started trying to conceive, and although the doctor had told them that six months to a year was common, each month that passed added a new level of disappointment.

Since the case had begun four days ago, she hadn't had any alone time with Tony. They'd been taking turns "sleeping" in the bullpen along with McGee. What she needed now was a quite night in but instead Tony had insisted they went out with Abby and McGee. She had agreed because she knew it would seem suspect if they didn't go out with their co-workers for the customary drinks after wrapping up a big case.

X

Tony waited anxiously at the bar for Ziva's arrival. He had called her after work, which had been their only intimate conversation since the case had started, and he had gotten a foreboding feeling that he would not be able to do right by her this evening. The feeling of helplessness washed over him as realization that anything he did tonight was just going to further anger her. He hated when she got like this. He would never understand women and their moods, and Ziva had some of the most menacing moods of any woman that he had ever dated.

His mind went back to when they had first started sleeping together. Everything was easier back then albeit far less rewarding. Gibbs was no longer in charge of the team, and Tony's rules were far more open to sleeping with coworkers. In fact it was almost easier to focus on cases once the sexual tension had been alleviated. The sexual tension was distracting at best but at worst it had consumed him.

It would take several more years for him to cultivate deep and abiding romantic feelings for Ziva, and several more to actually get the courage to act on those feelings. However, when they finally came it was pain and regret like he had never experienced before, neither with Wendy, nor with Jeanne. He couldn't believe that he had been so dense all of those years and that he could have hurt her so badly in the beginning. If their relationship could be summarized in two words, they would be: bad timing.

He didn't agree with Ziva that the best thing for them to do was to stay in tonight. They needed to go out with their best friends and coworkers instead of sitting around dwelling on their problems, which in light of everything they had been through together weren't that bad. It had only been three months. She wasn't being rational right now. Her hormones must be out of balance.

"Seriously, Tony. Get out of your head. The case is over. You should have a drink." McGee was getting seriously annoyed. Abby was flirting with a metro fireman, and Tony had completely spaced out on him, leaving him drinking alone at an almost empty bar on a Wednesday night.

"Yeah, I think I will," Tony complied, and ordered a double rum and coke.

"What's going on with you these days anyways? You always seem preoccupied."

"I just have a lot on my mind," Tony mused. He wished he could talk to McGee about what he was thinking about sometimes. It might be healthy to have an outlet other than Ziva and his therapist. He couldn't talk to Abby about this one.

"You and Ziva both, Gibbs even asked what the deal was."

"Yeah, well, she's bat shit crazy," Tony murmured under his breath, away from McGee. He could really use that outlet.

"What'd you say? I didn't catch that."

"Just that I wouldn't worry about Ziva."

"Well, what's the deal with you then?"

"Forget it, McNosey," he warned, while slurping down his drink quickly and signaling to the bartender that he wanted another. "Seriously, McGoo, let's focus on your personal life tonight. I mean, seriously, when is the last time you even saw a girl naked."

"Shut it, Tony. That's none of your business," McGee shot back defensively at Tony causing his ears to turn a little pink.

"Come on, McSensitive. Why don't you go talk to those college girls? They're studying at the bars. They've got to be your type."

"Fine, I will," said Tim confidentially.

"Go then."

"Are you not coming with me?"

"Do you need my help, Probie? Want a experienced man to show you the ropes of how to pick up smart beautiful women?"

"Please, what do you know about smart beautiful women? I've never seen you with one that had an IQ larger than her bra size. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two. "

"I resent that, McHurtful, but if you need me to be your crutch tonight I will. Let's start by sending them a round of drinks."

"All of them? I don't think I could handle sleeping with all five of them," quipped Tim sarcastically.

"Aw, Probie, baby steps," Tony joked, "DiNozzo's dating rule number seven: play the odds. You can't just pick two of them to go after to start with. First of all, the rest of them would get angry that they weren't picked and we'd end up striking out with all of them. Second, the two hottest ones are probably already taken. This way we're just seeing if any of them bite from a safe distance in case we've landed upon one of those elusive lipstick lesbian groups."

"You really are sick, you know that."

"Jerry, we want to send a round of cranberry vodkas to that table of hot girls over there."

"Why cranberry vodkas?" asked McGee.

"It's not too girly or too expensive," Tony began. "Sending them a round of cosmopolitans would be trying way to hard and they could get offended and insert feminist adage here. You get my point, but since they are still female sending a pitcher or whiskey shots would just be inconsiderate."

"And so it begins…" McGee stated as the drinks were presented to the group of very attractive, and probably his baby sister's age co-eds.

The group of girls looked their way, smiling and laughing. They were a giggly bunch, thought Tony. Suddenly, he wished very deeply that he would only ever have male children. These girls were too young for him, maybe not for McGee, but he was at-least twenty-years their senior.

Three of the group stood up and began to make their way towards the bar where Tony and McGee were waited calmly. Tony had turned back to the bar and away from them as his stomach was churning with guilt. What was he doing? Where was Ziva?

McGee had often heard of Tony's sexual prowess but it was spectacular to actually see it in person. He had made them come to them and was now acting uninterested. It had been too easy for him. He wished Ziva had been here to see Tony in action.

"Hey, we just wanted to say thanks for the drinks," said one of the too young co-eds. Her dirty blonde hair was in a high ponytail and her thin taunt body exuded an air of unabashed confidence that could only be seen in a recently legal twenty-something girl.

"No problem, we were just concerned that you girls were studying a little too hard over there and wanted to lighten things up a bit," Tony replied, wondering if McGee had completely frozen up under pressure and was leaving him alone to entertain three girls that were young enough to be his first-born.

"Actually we're just planning a fundraising event for our sorority. Alcohol might liven things up a little bit," corrected the tall brunette who was by far the hottest of the group, although they were all fairly attractive.

"Oh, really? I'm a Alpha Chi Delta from Ohio State…"

"No way! My brother is an AChiD at University of Virginia," the third blonde girl interjected, "We always do homecoming with them, this year we're doing a fundraiser together to raise awareness about animal homelessness…"

Tony couldn't help but notice the girl's perfect smile and how her skin and hair were flawless. She was sweet and charming, witty and beautiful. It was everything that he used to look for in a woman. Suddenly, Tony's thoughts diverted inwards. He thought about the golden retriever and the house in the suburbs with his perfect homemaker wife.

That was his plan when he was still in school. He would always blame Wendy for ruining the picturesque life that they were supposed to share together. On the other hand he never would have experienced as much of life if she had stayed in the picture. It took ten years of growth to realize that marrying Wendy would have been a mistake. He was just a naïve kid back then. He didn't even know what real love was. It took loosing love to know what it truly meant. He would risk anything for it. He was ready to die to avenge Ziva's death. In fact he would have rather been dead than to live on without her. He couldn't live without her.

Where was Ziva? Tony checked his phone to see if she had called, instead he found one text message:

_Fuck you._


	7. Chapter 7

Ziva had been ignoring the loud banging on the door for several seconds. She didn't know how to face Tony right now, after leaving without explanation from the bar a few short hours ago. She wasn't even angry anymore. She just felt defeated. How could she be so naïve?

Tony may love her, but that didn't make them compatible. They had never made sense, and it was too difficult to keep trying. On the other hand, a bubbly blonde college student in her twenties made sense for Tony. Ziva was too complicated, too difficult, and too damaged for him.

Unfortunately, even though she could rationalize the entire situation and call it a night, she knew that he wasn't leaving peacefully no matter how long she tried to ignore him. She decided that she needed to let him in before her neighbors called the police.

"Ziva, answer your goddamn door." He demanded, in a deep intimidating voice that was completely unlike him.

She cracked the door for him as soon as the words had left his mouth and then hastily scurried into the kitchen with her back turned to him. He followed her, waiting for her to turn around and face him. He was fuming, and she was equally upset. Ziva knew that she would have to face him eventually, as he wasn't leaving until they had words.

She busied herself by pouring a glass of water for both of them, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Finally, she turned around, and her stone-cold glare met his reddened face and furrowed eyebrows.

Ziva was unsure if she had ever seen him look at any other person like that before. Truly, at that moment he was terrifying. She knew that he had been drinking again, and it was her fault that he had fallen off the wagon. The piercing silence ensued as she studied his rigid features, and he looked mutely back at her.

"What the hell was that, Ziva? Don't ever leave me again like that."

Ziva calmly tried to reason with him, "You're drunk, Tony. Just go to sleep and we'll talk about it in the morning."

"You're fucking right I've been drinking. My girlfriend runs off on me at a bar with no explanation. I have every fucking right to drink."

"You were chatting in up with Miss. College Prep. I thought I'd get out of your way before you missed out on your chance to meet your future wife."

"NO," he screamed, as he slammed his hand down on the table. "Stop acting so insecure. I deal with men hitting on you constantly, almost every day at work. What do I have to do to prove that you're the only one that I want?"

An inappropriate surge of excitement coursed through her body when his hand met the table. Tony was acting strong and dominating. She'd never seen him take control like this before. It reminded her of her father and in some ways of Michael.

!STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ MATURE RATED CONTENT: IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT. I JUST WANTED TO GET THIS SCENE OUT OF MY HEAD AND ONTO PAPER. I'M NOT CHANGING THE RATING BECAUSE IT'S ONLY A SMALL PART OF THIS STORY. BASICALLY, THEY JUST HAVE ANGRY SEX AND MAKE UP. AGAIN, IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT IF YOU WANT TO JUST PICK UP ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.!

X

Tony had seen enough of her acting like an insecure teenager, if she needed him to act possessive to feel confident then he could do it. If she was feeling apprehensive about his feelings towards her he was going to physically show her that she was what he wanted.

"Come here," he demanded of her, and she obliged his request without hesitation.

When she got close enough, he grabbed her and kissed her hard, pulling her hair viciously. For once he was in control, and she deserved it rough. He was going to fuck her like he had before she went to Somalia, and he didn't care if it hurt. Still clutching onto her hair, he paused suddenly, and drew away from her mouth slightly, forcing her to make eye contact with him.

"You're mine," he said, softly, then quickly flipped Ziva around, shoving her down onto the kitchen table on her stomach.

He reached around to unbutton her jeans and then pulled them and her underwear down to her ankles in one swift movement, leaving her taunt ass exposed in front of him. He slowly took off his pants and boxers, as she lay there motionless, eagerly waiting for what would come next.

"You are mine," he reiterated before aggressively shoving himself into her, and finding her surprisingly wet, considering he had made no effort to get her there. He held onto her shoulders, as he thrust into her once again, and again.

He stopped abruptly, as a new idea came to him, something that he had never tried before. Tony reached for her black tank top that she was still wearing and swiftly pulled it over her head, leaving her completely naked underneath him. He rubbed his hand strongly up her spine until he got to the nape of her neck, and leaning over her perfect form, he bit down on her shoulder drawing a tiny amount of blood. He had never intentionally left a mark on her body before now, but it seemed like the perfect thing to do in this situation.

"You are mine."

He thrust inside her again, this time leaning over her body so that he could look at her. He could feel her muscles tense beneath him, making it an incredibly tight fit for him. He probably could have come already if he wasn't trying to take his time with her, making sure she felt every second of it, and knew that he was in charge. She opened her eyes to meet his when he grabbed a fist of her curls, before thrusting deeply inside of her again.

"You are mine."

He withdrew from her leisurely, taking his time, licking and sucking his way down her spine, purposefully moving his mouth lower. When he finally reached his desired destination, he bit her hard once again below the ribcage, and Ziva gasped at the sensation of pain and pleasure that overtook her.

"You are mine."

He started thrusting into her viciously now, gaining a rhythm. It felt good to be in the position of power, having complete control over her, when it had been taboo for so long. He was surprised when he felt her muscles contract around him, signifying her release. He actually felt a surge of anger towards her, since she was not really supposed to be enjoying this. Eventually Tony also found release, as he exploded inside of her, he fell down on top of her body, resting all of his weight on her.

He remained there for a moment, physically and emotionally exhausted, unwilling to move. It took more of him to finish that than he expected. Ziva hadn't moved either, she was lying completely still, with her eyes squeezed tightly together, breathing shallowly, waiting to find out what would come next.

Tony's heart was beating rapidly as he surveyed his work. Blood and semen were covering her thighs, and his own body. He didn't know what to do next and decided to place a small kiss on the side of her neck, while he was in the area. Ziva let out a small gasp at the touch and opened her eyes.

Tony began to feel a smidgeon of remorse over what had just happened, but not enough to warrant an actual apology. It was completely fucked up what he had just done, and he knew it, but he also knew that she could have stopped him if she had wanted to. Instead, she lay there and climaxed. She let him ram himself into her. If she had just said stop, he would have. If she wanted to she could have broken every bone in his body, instead of just lying there and taking it, but she didn't. Still, he thought, he was supposed to be there to protect her not to violate her further.

She still hadn't moved or done anything except open her eyes. He finally stood up and got off of her body. He seriously considered leaving, but he couldn't leave her like this.

Instead, he chose to leave the kitchen and go to the bathroom to try to clean himself up. He hoped that she would do something, anything, if he left her alone for a bit. As he cleaned himself up, he turned on the water and ran a bath for her. He at least wanted to clean her up before he left.


End file.
